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I go up and down the scale so often that if they ever perform an autopsy on me they'll find me like a strip of bacon - a streak of lean and a streak of fat. ~Texas Guinan



American professional athletes are bilingual; they speak English and profanity. ~Gordie Howe, 1975



When a dog wants to hang out the "Do Not Disturb" sign, as all of us do now and then, he is regarded as a traitor to his species. ~Ramona C. Albert



Summing up, it is clear the future holds great opportunities. It also holds pitfalls. The trick will be to avoid the pitfalls, seize the opportunities, and get back home by six o'clock. ~Woody Allen, "My Speech to the Graduates," Side Effects, 1980



Nothing travels faster than light, with the possible exception of bad news, which follows its own rules. ~Douglas Adams



Every man of genius is considerably helped by being dead. ~Robert S. Lynd



As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God. ~Psalms 42:1



The true Indian sets no price upon either his property or his labor. His generosity is limited only by his strength and ability. He regards it as an honor to be selected for difficult or dangerous service and would think it shameful to ask for any reward, saying rather: Let the person I serve express his thanks according to his own bringing up and his sense of honor. ~Ohiyesa of the Santee Sioux (Charles Alexander Eastman)



If we were all to be judged by our thoughts, the hills would be swarming with outlaws. ~Johann Sigurjonsson



There does not now, nor will there ever exist, a programming language in which it is the least bit hard to write bad programs. ~Lawrence Flon



Luck has a peculiar habit of favoring those who don't depend on it. ~Author Unknown



That we find a crystal or a poppy beautiful means that we are less alone, that we are more deeply inserted into existence than the course of a single life would lead us to believe. ~John Berger, The Sense of Sight, 1980



We have learned to fly the air like birds and swim the sea like fish, but we have not learned the simple art of living together as brothers. Our abundance has brought us neither peace of mind nor serenity of spirit. ~Martin Luther King, Jr.



Defeat is not bitter unless you swallow it. ~Joe Clark



No one is listening until you fart. ~Author Unknown



All of the biggest technological inventions created by man - the airplane, the automobile, the computer - says little about his intelligence, but speaks volumes about his laziness. ~Mark Kennedy All of the biggest technological inventions created by man - the airplane, the automobile, the computer - says little about his intelligence, but speaks volumes about his laziness. ~Mark Kennedy



They need to worry and betray time with urgencies false and otherwise, purely anxious and whiny, their souls really won't be at peace unless they can latch on to an established and proven worry and having once found it they assume facial expressions to fit and go with it, which is, you see, unhappiness, and all the time it all flies by them and they know it and that too worries them no end. ~Jack Kerouac



People will accept your idea much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first. ~David H. Comins



If falsehood, like truth, had but one face, we would be more on equal terms. For we would consider the contrary of what the liar said to be certain. But the opposite of truth has a hundred thousand faces and an infinite field. ~Michel Eyquem de Montaigne



If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~Mother Teresa


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